Jargon found frequently in Company paraphernalia:

· We urge you – urge us..yes, hold our heads in the toilet bowl is not considered ‘urging’
· We understand – thank you for showing that you care about us!
· Updated on a quarterly basis (or fill in your own timeframe) – is someone paying attention?
· Are distributed to….. – do we really care who gets what?
· ‘update’ used frequently and in plural form
· Continual use of the terms ‘we’, ‘us’, ‘our’, use of ‘you’ as not to blame
· Thank you in advance – as if some of us are actually going to do the work
· Rapid communication – if we speak faster will you be able to understand?
· Data base – I didn’t realize it was 2 words
· Using ‘regards’ as part of the signature line – regards to what? Better to just leave blank and not get emotionally involved.
· Please follow the template precisely - I’m telling YOU to follow the guideline because I want YOU to think I’m the boss and came up with this great idea, and YOU must listen. All others will be prosecuted
· Your cooperation is greatly appreciated – I admit I’ve used this one and yes, if you work with me, I’ll return the favor, in the same ‘turnaround’ time that you give me. So if you get back to me in 3 days, I’ll get back to you next time you need a favor in 3 days.