Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Happy Easter - The Adult Version

Easter cannot compete with Thanksgiving because Thanksgiving is one of the most vulgar holidays of the year at the dinner table.   Even so I still keep my notebook handy with a pen and take notes.  Yes I take notes at the dinner table.  Conversation = great quotes.  You can judge all you like but it makes for good conversation besides politics, cars, gun control and sheep.

Here’s some snippets from my table to yours:

-          I’ll do you
-          That’s head cheese
-          We had pickled pigs feet in lots of vinegar
-          Sniffing that alone will make you cry
-          Split rear
-          What’s better than make up sex and learning how to drive a stick?
-          I should have punched it before I left
-          Gotta let it rise two times til its just above the rim
-          See the bones and pull them out
-          Roll your fingers
-          Roll your index finger and then your thumb
-          She uses too much pressure
-          They are so small, they will fit in my hands
-          Then there are the big ones that you need two hands
-          Before you put it out you have to open it up
-          Open it half a turn
-          That’s good eating size
-          Taste like chicken
-          If they’re delicious then look at all those wasted meals
-          There was a squirrel hanging by his cohones
-          Don’t feed and pet the animals
-          Chitty chitty bang bang
-          Who knew that Julie Andrews was so sexy?
-          Imagine being at a nudest camp while being next to a donkey farm?

And there you have it.  Unfortunately I never saw the “unicorn jumping over a rainbow while farting” nor did the creepy bunny make an appearance.  All had a good time followed by homemade desserts, babka and Opici.