Thursday, April 10, 2014

Surviving the Big D: Letting Go of the Dream House

There are some things I will never forget about my first house, my ‘dream house’ (at the time).  It was 5 bedrooms, 2 ½ baths, in ground pool, garage, privacy, deck off the kitchen.  I never thought I could afford a place like that, and even still as difficult as it was to negotiate the purchase, it was just as easy to walk away from it during the separation and then the divorce.  The house was just an item, it didn’t have sentimental value other than my negotiating skills hard at work but some memories still linger of a place I only spent a few short months in.

  • Never use the sellers agent as your own – they can’t help you negotiate or give you an idea of a ‘best and final’ ball park figure.
  • The day of the walk thru (which is usually the day or night before the closing), a bird crapped on my shoe, I figured it was a sign that my dad approved.
  • On the day we got the keys, my now ex-MIL was waiting in the driveway (and we hadn’t even used the keys yet) Not Cool!
  • I moved us in, met with Pest Control to get rid of any present and future insects (as much as my phobia of spiders and bees I did this from the driveway while the guy took care of business)
  • Although the gesture was very thoughtful, people should ask the homeowner what if anything they need first before they buy or offer to buy outdoor patio furniture (don’t just show up with one that’s not even their taste with a “Surprise, we got you a patio set from Shop Rite”)
  • On the day of the first family bbq…my ex inlaws were giving tours of the house as if it was their own (sorry you don’t pay the bills you will not give the tour)
  • I held my first family Christmas from all sides (trying to bring back childhood memories when both sides of the family met at one house – no toting us around door to door).  This does not include Christmas morning because that too was at someone else’s house (which I promised I wouldn’t bitch about anymore in a few past postings) J
  • I’ll always pay extra when replacing the windows to make sure the contractor also completes it with trim and painting the trim.
  • I will not miss finding frogs from the creek behind the house in the pool filter
  • The round trip commute from Rt.80 to 206N was a bitch - my commute now is 10x better.

Where I live now I think I’ve stayed the longest in (not including my childhood), and I’ve unpacked all the boxes. There isn’t a ‘staging’ area like I once had in one of the spare guest rooms in my ‘dream house’.  I guess that was another sign it wasn’t my ‘dream house’ after all.