Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Having Lunch with the Four Horsemen

- Holiday party guy wore same shirt as last week
- People do use the microwave
- Mass quantities of ketchup are consumed, leaving only 4 unused packages
- “Do you wanna jerk it?”
- “My way was better”
- “I’ll give you the finger”
- “Ocean training? What happened? You fell in?”
- Blue shirt Tuesday
- Blame it on ____
- “How can I send it to him before he sent it to all of us?”
- “…shot my load”
- Meatloaf of the day = fair
- RPL to go
- Young man’s cheeks were extremely pink – easy giveaway for age under 25
- CT look a like
- Wardrobe same as last week for polo shirt man
- “We’ve experimented with different positions”
- Had lunch with a prophet who makes up silly songs
- “What do you mean by pop him?”
- Saiyed is having lunch here – LOST reference for those of you who are completely LOST at this point
- Watch the backlooking
- Kojak makes an appearance, he has a very nice tan.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Can I Buy You A Drink?

Let me buy you a drink. Have a drink with me tonight…. I might have used one of the three, or all of the above once or twice in the last year but not as a line. Maybe their glass was empty, maybe it was an invitation. And then you say “Yes” and I do buy you a drink, would you return one to me? Maybe not that exact night if this conversation continues, maybe another time, but would you buy a lady a drink? I don’t normally write while drinking, but I can call this a taste test since I’m perfecting the perfect pomogranite martini, which needs just a little something else. It does make a great prop for writing, its red, it exudes sensuality from a glass, even after a few sips. It’s creating a scene of which I would need you here, surrounded by faint light, and music from a cd which you brought over, complete with 2 glasses. Have a drink with me tonight, it could get very interesting.

Friday, February 22, 2008

You Got A Problem? ha ha...

Today out of sheer curiosity I was searching other blogs on other websites just to see what was out there and came across a few interesting ones. I searched for dating ones, divorced and dating ones and why are there so many pessimistic people out there..doesn’t matter, you make me laugh. “Top 10 Things to Remember when Dating Someone Single, Divorced, Widowed, Separated” blah blah blah, and their challenges, gee, everyone comes with some sort of luggage we’re all not cut like a perfect diamond. First off the big issue was ‘their problems are your problems’..ha ha ha. If you get involved with anyone single, divorced, separated, widowed, depending on how that person is and if they vent and moan about every little thing in their life to you, it only becomes your problem if you get involved. Just listen and offer advice when asked, then its not your problem unless you make it your problem. Duh. I’m a very private person, unless you know me, and you really know me. I just don’t come out with things openly and its not that I’m hiding anything, or that its none of your business, its just not your problem. Hey, I may need to vent about something, so sit and listen that’s all I ask. If I’m involved with you – you got me. If we’re friends and you ask me a question, I’ll answer it. I have nothing to hide, but I don’t freely and openly volunteer my entire life story to just anyone. More than half of the people I know have no idea I write anything at all, much less that I’m published. I’m not saying you are lucky because you know that about me, what I’m saying is that I’m a private person, and I don’t go around blabbing every little detail to the world..that’s why I keep a separate diary.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Wears a Pink Tie

Scenes from the CafĂ© – Take 1
- Gary Grey is gone, he didn’t leave a forwarding address.
- If you eat in the cafeteria that serves food, why are there microwaves?
- Women fashion sense is nothing short of table cloths
- Buffalo chicken wrap falls apart
- ‘Way wacked’
- Women hair accessories venture similar to those worn to proms with ‘fau rhinestones’
- 2 H clones
- Men from holiday party still work there..more or less they are still little boys
- Why is it that men will sit on one side of the table and the women sit on the other? Equal eating rights?
- Donald Trump is setting menswear trend for high profile executives
- Brown socks with grey pants – did you get dressed in the dark today?
- She looks like she got hit in the face with a frying pan
- Lime green is the color for Thursday
- Guy from “Knocked Up” eats lunch here!
- Kojak had a problem figuring out the difference between ‘bottles’ and ‘glass only’

Sunday, February 17, 2008

TV Stars, Rock Stars, and Whiskey Shots – Oh My

Another adventure in the lovely state of NJ led us to the Shannon Rose, and I must say it was a decent establishment, absolutely better than South Park, but with wristbands. We saw Doogie Houser waiting on tables, I was told I look like Christian Bale’s wife in 3:10 to Yuma and what’s funny about that is Ben Foster (the guy who played Charlie in the movie) showed up later, with more hair on his head. Saw 2 older guys in their 40’s looking, ogling at some little babe no more than 22 years old because her ‘girls’ were looking for attention while they were texting somebody constantly - you’re at a bar, you either have a beer and fun, or you leave. Don’t spend the night texting..you are missing all the action! A shot and a beer later my girlfriend hit it off with Kid Rock, and the alcohol had nothing to do with it, they did look very cute and comfy together instantly. So while I sat and waited for the ‘help me’ sign, which left me bored, I committed to memory some tidbits from last night, aside from trying to figure out how I can sneak out and return for her later. The band was great, too bad we couldn’t maneuver closer but then again, we wouldn’t have been able to hear anything and she wouldn’t have left with digits. (I never knew an irish pub would play Bon Jovi and Springsteen!) We met Fabio, who knew Kid Rock and the guy who does his own eyebrows, but minus the long blonde hair and the butter commercial. My cousin, who showed up dressed like he was at a yacht club, was hard to read, I couldn’t tell if he was bored or if he was having a good time ogling the young girls. Yes, young…aside from a few older guys, we were the oldest people there. But I can say guys out east do talk to us, so my friend is right, the older guys out west can sit at the bar, drink their cheap beers and text message whoever they want while staring at us, you aren’t going to get up to talk to us anyway.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Let's Play 20 Questions - You Go First

Someone recently asked me what I was looking for in a relationship and it was a difficult question to answer. I can tell you what I don’t want, that might be easier than what I do want since the list is a lot shorter. In all seriousness you can have a sidebar checklist of what you are looking for and don’t want, your ‘must haves’ or ‘would be nice to have’, ‘will not settle for’ or a flat out ‘will not budge’, but you won’t find an exact match. Most of the time it finds you by accident anyway, when you least expect it to. With all sarcasm aside, if you find someone you connect with, you click with, you have fun with, someone that makes you happy, smile for no apparent reason, remembers the smallest detail, someone to pick you up off the floor after you’ve had too many drinks and tuck you into bed, someone who makes fireworks go off, and all the other positive aspects of what comes next that which I haven’t listed here, and if this someone feels the same of course, hold on tight, but not too tight. You might not be 10 minutes away, you might not want to have a significant other right now (whatever that means in this century), but you should not lose sight of what makes you happy and all bubbly inside. You can spend a lifetime looking for ‘the one’ but it is these ‘someones’ that leave the most impression. You out there...you listening....

Off With His Head!

Thank you hotmail for providing a ‘trash’ bin and a ‘delete’ button because that is definitely what triggered me to write this and not respond to an email. To be completely honest I don’t ask for much and I think I give people way too much space, but that’s who I am. Let’s just say that I won’t be corresponding with a certain someone anymore because they got dramatic on me in a ‘”why didn’t you call me back” while screaming over the phone like a female pulling her hair out, stomping her feet” kinda way. Can you say “psycho”? Would you like a Kleenex with that? I’m usually good at reading people, and I know I had the radar on for this one and after meeting for coffee I just knew something was off. You know when you make a pie and its missing something, or if you make gravy and you put in too much garlic? Yeah, that kind of thing. My friend who sent him my way, should have been part of the screening process because this one was dramatic (along with some other quality/attribute that I can’t pinpoint) with a capital “L”, but that’s not her fault either or maybe it is. I am sitting here shaking my head wondering again, why am I doing this? Why? And the best part of this whole ordeal, are the signs. The ones where you are thinking of someone else while you are having coffee with a complete stranger. The others who bore you over the phone, or those that do a complete 180. The list is endless. I’m just going to stick to what I know, follow that silly gut instinct I call Sparks. So save the drama for ya’ mamma, I’m not playing those games.

Friday, February 15, 2008

It's a 'party' line

Just typical conference call jargon that you can apply to “enter real life situation here”:
¨ Champion
¨ Your swartz is as big as mine
¨ I didn’t get an answer
¨ Tap that
¨ Oh dear God
¨ Who are we married up with?
¨ ‘vetting’ – wtf does that mean?
¨ UAT – see above comment
¨ Tag teaming
¨ Give us a flavor
¨ Let me throw a wrench in this
¨ Working their tails off to keep the lights on
¨ Recircle the wagons
¨ Painted with the same broad brush
¨ All sorts of flags coming up
¨ Raise the heat
¨ Nature of the beast
¨ Pony up
¨ Barking up the wrong tree
¨ Down in the weeds – 3 x
¨ Major bottleneck
¨ Last minute snag
¨ Becoming washes
¨ Vetted
¨ Call in a few cards
¨ In the hospital, under oxygen, its still alive
¨ Touched on the biggies
¨ Walked the path
¨ Should we send him a box of fruit?
¨ Take her in the weeds
¨ Cut the baby in half
¨ Melding
¨ I’m on a soapbox
¨ There’s always a beach
¨ Forest thru the trees
¨ Out of pocket
¨ He-man-shoes
¨ I don’t want to be the bottleneck
¨ Buckets of information
¨ Super User
¨ Just to give you an idea and a flavor
¨ You are sunk
¨ I’m getting a drink, so here we go
¨ Power User
¨ Loosening the deck
¨ We call this the onion
¨ Multiple farms
¨ We play nice with that
¨ Bringing to bed
¨ Circle back around
¨ I was telling my Beagles this morning
¨ Give you a flavor of these in three
¨ Skinny that down
¨ Down and dirty users
¨ If you’re running and screaming I’ll be right behind you
¨ Nad’s eyelash things
¨ Secret sauce

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Better than Xmas

They say that to a female chocolate is better than sex. And today, the sheer joy of seeing people smile was like watching a child open presents at Christmas. So I sent a card or two, one of which, has been an inside joke and a tradition for years, along with a candy bar which didn’t quite make it to the envelope. But today was no ordinary day in the office, besides the free lunch, females dressing in red, and a few select anonymous gifts in celebration of St. Valentine’s Day, who I might add was beheaded on this day. Strange as that may sound, and yet here we are saying “Be mine” in all different ways, none of which you have suspected otherwise. So, if some secret admirer left you something today, then obviously they had some agenda. I’m sure not telling you my opinion on the chocolate versus sex debate, but I’ll take either of them any day of the week.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Fly Me to the Moon.. and any other place you’d like to go

And it sounds so easy doesn’t it? Too bad I was only dreaming again and woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I have no idea why I woke up at 2 am last night, nothing short of my usual 4 hours of non-interrupted sleep a glass of water could fix. I should be thoroughly exhausted, but some kind of burst of energy is pushing me to get thru today, unusual as it may sound. A smile that refuses to leave my side, a memory of yet as always another place and time, amidst flannel sheets, faint lights and pillow talk I left behind a closed door, trapped in that infamous REM sleep that I seldom get, lost in thought at an all inclusive resort filled with martini’s, fruity cocktails, and rock and roll music. You think you know what I’m talking about…you have no idea and that’s the best part.

Monday, February 11, 2008

The Thought That Counts

**posted last year on an old website and updated to reflect my current ideals.

In a nutshell – Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday. I’ve always felt this way about it and until Cupid shoots me silly, anything is possible. I’d love to just fall head first in the gift giving and all the red roses and candy hearts but it is more fun to be creative and come up with your own ideas on other days during the year. It seems mostly everyone gets caught up in spending money on a card, flowers, dinner, on and around the 14th of February. I’m not saying that I never spent money on anything in pure celebration – Yes I took a chance and sent a dozen roses once, I’m still a romantic. Of course it would be great to get something, but why not just do dinner/flowers/card/gift/whatever weeks before, weeks after, days after and make Valentine’s Day another day? Why follow society and donate your hard earned cash? I hope you are thinking it is “the thought that counts” - so if you are then “the thought that counts” can happen earlier, later, any time, day, month of the year and in any way, shape or form! In theory spending time with the person you like/care about/love/”insert other term of endearment here” is a gift in itself and no money needs to be spent either.

How are you spending the Hallmark holiday, if you are at all? Would you be happy with just a phone call, email, text wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day (depending on who its from of course)? How about doing something completely spontaneous? I know I would because in the end, it is “the thought that counts” no matter when and what it is, even if it took me 2 minutes to type out a text and spent $2.50 on a card.

Monday, February 4, 2008

We Bring Good Things to Light

It took a long hot shower in a tiled bathroom, a hearty chicken parmesan dinner over linguini, a few slices of regular Italian bread, along with a long drive in 16 degree temps for me to figure it out. But I did, and I had to admit it to myself too, which then appeared a lightbulb above my head “by golly gee, I think she’s got it!” I do make my best decisions in the bathroom for some odd reason, but honestly it takes a lot for me to admit something, especially something not as clear cut as this. Its not for you to know or find out either, this one I’ll probably take with me forever, unless a situation presents itself where I have to ‘come clean’. No, I didn’t shoplift or commit any crimes, in fact, no one did anything wrong.

*written in January obviously (note the temperature reference).

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Misadventures again on a Saturday stem from $18 in tolls, a drive over 2 bridges, 4 major highways and ending at a decent house party. I can’t begin to explain the perils of karma for Saturday as I think my planets were in orbital chaos. However, after venturing to a new place in the sticks, the blues Brian Setzer type music was the only good ambience at the Mohawk House and I realized that Quick Check doesn’t sell alcohol after a certain time so going to a party empty handed was definitely not an option.

Here’s our top 11 scenes from the bar, and yes, we wrote these down on a napkin: 1) Fireman on date across the bar, 2) 3 rude married men wished they could all send their wives away for 8 days, 3) Band singers outfit matched my hair..no joke, 4) Bar had nice lamp shades, 5) Bartender only paid attention if you paid by credit card..she was a “dingbat” over all, 6) Possible ‘cutie to the right…oh wait..he’s with a girl..dammit’, 7) Snowflake sweater man had bad acne, 8) Short guy with glasses across the bar chewing gum like Cali chick while drinking beer with his o/weight friend..kudos for attire, 9) Man had hair like squirrel, and a little Dracula look to him, 10) Local yocal…everyone knows everyone else, we found “Cheers”. Needless to say we won’t be returning to the Mohawk House, not even in our conservative attire. But the night ended with a stripper pole, losing $20, screwing up my knee, and a chance conversation with Chuck who my girlfriend still doesn’t know why he didn’t ask for her number. I’m just glad I brought the cookies.

Friday, February 1, 2008

I'm bored...

I don’t know why I created a profile, why I respond to emails that I have no interest in other than conversation, why I’m even on there for the sport of it all. In all seriousness its just something to fill up my time during the week, and as usual I get, got, am getting very bored with it. The constant banter back and forth thru email, knowing in the real world if I was out at the bar they wouldn’t have the balls to talk to me anyway..baffles the mind. Not that I’d invite Moonshine down for a drink just for conversation (when I know he will think I had ‘changed my mind’) as a way to fill up my weeknights, because I certainly could do that with any one of my token stalkers (if I wanted to). In truth, my heart is afraid to say exactly what’s in there, not that I’d ever admit to it on here anyway. I’m bored, and the butterflies that I felt a few months ago haven’t returned, and lately the thing that still brings a smile to my face is a dried flower and a picture in a frame.