Surviving the Big D: You are #1

My divorce happened before the chance to have kids came around , so at this point in my life I was looking out for me and that meant doing things for myself for a change and not worrying about everyone and everything around me.  I treated myself to a day at Depasquale Spa with one of the Angels – something I’ve never ever done before. I’ve heard this place was expensive but worth it – and the ‘lounge’ and facial treatment was well worth it!  What had I been missing out on?  I also spent money on something I mostlikely would have never ever purchased before, something out of my price range but that I could ultimately pay off without living off of Raman noodles.  That was my ‘independence’ purse.  I bought my first gold Coach purse, which started a moderate collection of bags afterward.  I still look upon it as my ‘independence’ purse, it could have been any purchase but for me just buying this new purse meant starting my life over again. 

As far as books and movies go, rent the entire series of Sex in the City with or without your girlfriends.  After watching the entire series you will be tempted and driven to update your hair and wardrobe and get that sexy back.  I spent a Friday night watching episode after episode of one season that inspired me (more like motivated after a glass of wine) when I woke up Saturday all I wanted to do was buy shoes and so I did.  I went and bought 2 pairs of sexy heels and 2 pairs of knee high boots.  It was an impulse but I do get plenty of wear of out them.

Read ‘Eat Pray Love’ do not see the movie.  I enjoyed the book much better than the movie.  It will make you think, believe and regain that self confidence once again, I can’t truly explain what you’ll personally obtain from it, but you will find something.  “Rules” books are ok to indulge in if you do not take them seriously.  I mean, rules haven’t really changed, just the fact pagers and pay phones are nonexistent, IM is a thing of the past, that texting is the latest means to conversation and trust in yourself to not put up with any b-s (see your bucket list if you need a refresher).   

If you still need to get yourself sorted out and your head screwed on straight, then I suggest talking to a counselor, overall it can’t hurt, its confidential and covered by most health insurances.  Talking to a complete (professional) stranger about your issues instead of burdening your friends all the time is part of the healing process.  I did and for one session a week for three weeks sure set my mind right when I had failed in ‘couples’ counseling.  It also helped me deal with my father’s sudden passing, so it is worth it to talk to a professional even if you have the support of your friends and family.

Make yourself over and pamper yourself (expensive) just once, get your make up done, get a new hair style, get a spa manicure/pedicure.  Get your ‘guts’ out on the table and feel like you can conquer the world.  You are #1 now, go do things for YOU that make YOU happy.