Monday, October 7, 2013

Surviving the Big D: Why now?

I have been asked, “Why are you writing about this now? Why are you making this public? Why talk about it?"  To be honest, I was officially divorced and had my name changed 5 years ago, however I felt I had to wait for certain ink to dry to not put myself in jeopardy of anything else in my life being delayed any further, so I kept quiet.  Trust me it was like banging my head against the wall.  One of the biggest mistakes I made with the mediator (besides getting a mediator and not an attorney) in the Property Settlement was I did not put when any dates for specific things were due by, thus allowing the ex to take his time to refinance the house.  With that being said, my name was still on the mortgage, it still showed up on my credit report, which when I went to apply for a mortgage on my current place I had to prove I wasn’t responsible or living there anymore.  What’s worse when I went for any loan, whether it be a car loan or personal loan it looked like I owned two houses.  Thankfully things were written out in the property settlement explaining the ex had to refinance (sans the ‘due date’), and I began to carry a copy of it around on a USB device as a safety net.

Five years later, it’s clearly off my credit report thanks to the brilliant Divorce Attorney who wrote the letter to apply the pressure,  that was definitely money well spent.  I would like to thank the ex for keeping up with the payments to not put my credit in jeopardy although others may not be so kind to do so as from other stories I’ve heard.  So that is why I waited to publish my series of “Surviving the Big D” and anything else about my divorce.   Now that the ink is dry and papers are filed away, I can ‘talk’ in hopes my experience helps someone else. 

Stay tuned for the next installment, this one is perfect for the ‘holidays’!