When it comes to a free lunch, there are usually a few options. It might be hot food, it might be pizza, it could be assorted sandwiches and wraps. So if its free, why does everyone sound stupid asking these questions? Do they not appreciate what is being offered to them? Can they not tell the difference between a tuna sandwich and ham? You decide.
Sound bytes from a free lunch with a variety of sandwiches in a half hour time span (anything in parens indicates the number of times it was said):
Variations of: “What are my choices?” “ So what are these?” “ Which one is pot luck?”
“Glad I got here”
“Walk don’t run”
“Two sandwiches per person” (3)
“Take two, that’s it”
“Don’t forget your bag of chips and your drink” – should be changed to “Don’t forget your daily extra amount of sodium intake”
“This is tuna” (10)
“This is ham” (6)
“This is veggy” (6)
“This is chicken” (10)
“This is like a sloppy Joe” (8)
“Drinks are in the kitchen” (3)
“I just tasted something that was good”
“What luncheon is the best?”
“I was kinda wondering there for a second”
“If (name to not be mentioned) comes back tell him there’s none left”
“What’s going on? Is there lunch happening?” – obviously this could be a person’s inability to put two and two together seeing the spread on the table, however I sympathize because I know this person was on a call with a client while this loud and obnoxious luncheon was being served in the an open
working area for the entire office.
“There’s still stuff left”
“Hey, were you here before?”
“How many can I take?” – what is being offered is never enough for some
“This one has eggplant, maybe that is the veggy one?”
“Do you want the veggy ones or not?”
“That’s it? That’s all your having?” – as if what was on their plate was a piece of lettuce
“Does your wife feed you?” – LOL moment, literally
“Are they toasted?” – clearly visible that some were toasted due to the marks on the bread
“Gotta watch my girlish figure” – came from a guy
“When’s dessert?” – the ultimate question that only those who do not appreciate freebies would ask
“Look, there’s all sorts of food here today?” – really? I never noticed and had no idea based on the decibels radiating from the other side of the wall
“Go ahead and finish them” – how does this not lead to an expanding waistline?
“Which one didn’t I have?” – see above
Conversation inferring to peer pressure: “Did you get your bag of chips?” “No, I’m passed my limit”, “That’s ok, save it for later” – yes, more sodium does a body good – NOT!
“Thank you” (2)
It’s unfortunate only two said “Thank you” during this session that I couldn’t help but make entertaining instead of agonizing when I’m the one on the calls. It’s a shame that the very same people that drive themselves to work everyday need introductions to sandwiches, even if they were labeled I guarantee the same questions would be asked. I did not partake in the freebies, as my chicken, spinach salad with almonds was much more appetizing with a banana as my dessert.