If I were to write a personal ad for a 'friend' this is what it would say (names are being confidential for obvious reasons):
Screening candidates for rainbow bright fans. He must pay for date and not be afraid to spend vacation time at her folks house, horseback riding out of the question and ferris wheels but loves to handglide. Yankee fan, belongs on a bowling team, enjoys relaxing on the beach, traveling to Mexico, a variety of cuisine and the Venetian table. Frequents the hairstylist for monthly changes due to latest celebrity trends. Her date must be a bodybuilder, have a fat wallet, a sports car, be a perfect gentleman and enjoy a healthy laugh and play trivial pursuit. Smoking is a no-no even if you are a great person. Must gaze hopelessly into her deep brown eyes and find beauty beyond physical appearance. Friends hope to find someone to motivate her to go beyond her limits and enjoy a lifetime of love and happiness.
Obviously the ‘must pay for date’ is a total push for someone who doesn’t mind paying all the time, which might end up as a deal breaker unless they spend plenty of date nights at the buffet.
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