Starting Fires

Last month I met Shrek, I hate to say it but I did, and it’s not meant to be mean, I’m just being honest. Shrek and I got along but he was Shrek and I was the Little Mermaid and obviously Ogres don’t mix with humans. No sparks were intended. It’s amazing how you can carry on a conversation with little or no fear and have no spark. I think if I were to speak to him on the phone and not meet him, we’d still hit off but then again, with me its all about the spark. The spark that fuels the fire that sets my soul ablaze – blah blah blah. You can talk to someone, have a great conversation but if you expect it to go ANYWHERE, there has to be something there that pulls you in. It’s all about the spark baby, and if its not there in the beginning, it never is. We all get that feeling, that attraction, the butterflies, nervousness, the challenge, the unattainable, the gettable (if you don’t hit a STOP sign) and it doesn’t always happen when we’ve had a few. You put yourself out there, give it a shot and see if the fire starter actually catches. Any idea what I’m talking about because I don’t go looking to start fires, they just happen.

I probably will never see Shrek again because he’s in a land far far away hanging out with his Princess whateverhernameis in their castle having a conversation with Donkey.

ID Please?

I didn’t want to go empty handed to my friend’s bbq so I stopped at the liquor store that I stop at often, (but not that often) often enough so they know my face. Usually if you go in to a liquor store and walk around aimlessly not knowing what exactly you are looking for, (where da' beer at fool?) you look suspicious so they card you. Now, I don’t look 18 anymore, at least I don’t think so. 3 weeks ago I got carded there, I went directly after work and didn’t buy girly drinks, I bought hard liquor and wine. I knew exactly what I wanted and where it was. This time, I knew exactly what I wanted went up to the counter and the guy paused. He was older, at least 50, and he asked the fun question of “Can I see your ID?” I laughed and handed it to him, he says to me “Congratulations”, wtf for? For being over 30 or for just having a birthday? Come on, you card a grandma and she feels great, you card me after I’ve been there a few times and I feel stupid. Yup, I left with smirk on my face, only thinking that he should have known better. I wonder why sometimes you get carded – do they want to see your age or see where you live? Something to think about next time someone asks you for your ID…it could be your next stalker.

Rebel WITH a Cause

What are the rules? Are there any rules? Can we go about our daily lives without any rules – at all? Lately I’m not sure what the rules are, if there is a guidebook to follow, but I sure don’t want to follow any. I think its silly to have to tiptoe around and worry about every little move I make or whatever phrase just happens to come out of my unpredictable mouth. Sure, we have to obey the traffic laws, and work our scheduled hours to get our jobs done, but the rest of it, the daily babble - does not have guidelines. There aren’t any rules to what I do during the day, gosh, can you imagine if there were? I’d have to carry around a checklist of sorts, tiptoe around as if I was walking on shattered glass, worrying the next move I make might set off an alarm. That sounds a bit like Communism and although I am part Ukey it just won’t fly with me. If its 2 am and I can’t sleep, I just might pick up the phone to call you – there isn’t a rule for “appropriate times to call”. If I get voicemail then so be it – my phone is always on for you! There is no such thing as an “appropriate time”, no rules, no regulations, no boxes to check off. I am fed up with the worrying about doing something wrong, saying something wrong, not doing or saying anything. I’m not keeping my mouth shut in the outfield in fear that heckling the other team might start an already impending fight! I am going to abide by my “no regrets”, “do not think – just do” motto. You can’t tie me down, well, maybe you can, but you have to run wild with me too. Tomorrow, I just might take my shoes off, and test the water, if its too cold, then there is always another day but no one said it was against the rules.

The 1/3 Rule

“Bend and stretch, reach for the stars” – if you remember that, you watched Magic Garden growing up! Taebo is great, it works for me, along with my stability ball and my “power” bands. I prefer working out in the comforts of my own home that way I can wear what I want, do a routine the way I want to do it, take breaks when I want and pick up where I left off whenever. The stability ball is a life saver – helps to achieve the girly six pack and show off the muscles which had been hibernating. I’ve been able to maintain where I’m at now, give or take +5 or -5, for 3 years. And no, that doesn’t mean skimping on my occasional piece of chocolate, French fries, or the slap of mayo on my sandwich. Just moderation and the 1/3 rule. Always leave 1/3 of your food on your plate, “diet” doesn’t necessarily mean healthy, and never deny yourself your favorite treats (just have a taste). Want more tips - you can pay me to be your weight watchers guru, I accept all forms of dark chocolate and alternate methods of payment can be negotiated. Yet there is nothing like feeling sore the day or two after working out, knowing that the routine actually worked, the muscles are still alive and kicking and tomorrow I can wear that new red bikini. (Nothing like it EXCEPT the way I feel after ….. is a workout itself.)

The WOW Factor

Is there such a thing as the “grand gesture”? The huge DOA (display of affection) that is romantic, memorable and knocks your socks off? Or does it come down to the little things in life? Does any of it really matter? To me it is the little things, even if it’s a stupid dandelion plucked from the ground that someone gives you as a small token, though last time I did that, I ended up sneezing horribly and that was over 20 years ago and I was stuck in a car (long short story). What I’m getting at is it’s the details, the minor details, the paying attention to detail that matters to me. If you remember it all and use it to your advantage, it will be an enjoyable ride, because I remember it all, or most of it and I’ll use it any way I can. It is the “gesture” that matters, whether small or large, and the “thought” that went into it. It doesn’t have to be a full bouquet of my favorite flower, rather one stem, or the entire chocolate cake, just give me a piece of chocolate. It is the simplest things that “WOW” me and those will be thoroughly appreciated.

Paying Attention

I never noticed this before until I paid attention and now I see things completely different. Funny thing is, I never thought it made me unhappy until now. Have you ever gone over a friend’s house and meet their family and all they do is make fun of other family members or talk about them in a negative light? They don’t make an effort to get to know you, who you are, what you do, what your likes and dislikes are, what you do in your spare time, what your favorite color is. They don’t make an effort to include you in the conversation and make you feel like a part of their family. I can say this, I was absolutely, 100% myself, (alcohol talk and all), felt accepted and included and didn’t hear one vice of negativity at the table over cake. Amazing how the cloud lifts and floats away and brings the sunshine to light the day. It was nice to compliment a family with a smile instead of a frown and to walk out the door knowing next time I see them, they won’t forget my name.

Suddenly I See....

“Suddenly I see, this is what I want to be” – K.T. Tunstall, what a great song. Its so moving, so happy and bouncy, makes you want to sing it in the shower. Suddenly I see, why it means so much to me to be me and how others couldn’t agree more. They say that some people bring out the best and worst in you sometimes, but I’ve realized if you can’t be you around them and with them, then they are the problem. There’s nothing more comforting than to just wear what you want, even if it might be too sexy for the office, but can be appreciated outside of the office. Nothing more hot and sexy than to just say what is on your pressing, playful and dirty mind (or not so dirty). Mustn't forget the impulsive reaching out and touching someone - don't think about it, just do it!

Sexy is back, sporty never left and the summer is just beginning to bring the fun.