Probably Not Means No….and btw I was just trying to be nice

At first trying to schedule meeting up for a drink with an old acquaintance was not so bad, then came scheduling conflicts and then he got annoying. I wonder if it was my newly single status that made it so apparent that he was soooo desperate to see me. Either way, sending me constant emails or messages on other social websites thinking I check them often enough (which I don’t) was a huge turn off. I even let him know where happy hour was one evening after work, in which he persisted to ask me to send him directions. Now, this guy has been emailing me, I know he’s techy savy so why not google the place? Duh! So, the last straw of me being nice all these months came last week when he, yet again sends me a damn email, “So we gonna hang out or what ??” My response was “Probably not, I'm busy”. Well "probably not" was not good enough for him because he said it “left the door open”, yes I am quoting him btw. I had to put a stop to this and to stop being nice and just outright say “Probably not means No!!!” I swear, and you guys thought women were dramatic and that we read into things….probably not (all the time)!

All the Single (and not so single) Ladies….

We were out in full force Friday night celebrating my newly ‘living single’ status, beer, leopard print hat, glasses and gold kitten heels. My ladies gave me the best kick off celebration possible along with some token skivvies, boxes filled with colorful and flavorful items (highly recommended), Little Mermaid bling and a Playboy Bunny! I have great friends, friends that could be an addition to my family and I’m so blessed to have such a supportive circle. The highlight of the night besides the man in the really bad trench who mistakenly thought I was the bride, was the ‘hat man’. The ‘hat man’ gave my friends on the couch, who were too shy to join us on the dance floor a little show in front of them…all for the price of a bottle of water. He was a bit shocked that I had so much energy and could keep up with him (actually mimicking his every move). Little did he know that one time, in another city about an hour away, I won a dance contest when I was a mere 16. Catholic school wasn’t all nuns and plaid…thank goodness for Club MTV! Cheers to my single and not so single ladies…and of course, my Pink Party Planner, who without all her efforts this would not have been possible!

Schoolwork vs Football…hmmm – at least its not my decision!

Just out having Sunday brunch with my 2nd mom today and I realized I was sitting next to a Princess. Yes, Princess. Some of you may know who she is or was, and why we called her that. At first I thought I was sitting next to a guy in his 20s and his mother. But then when I got up to leave I took a good look and it wasn’t that at all. They were a couple! Princess said that dinner was a major decision today and that his schoolwork was more important than the games at 3 pm. OK, does that sound like the guys mother? And how is Sunday dinner a major decision? I mean, unless you are entertaining, dinner on Sunday should not be a huge dramatic event! Either way I enjoyed my catch up conversation over pancakes and omelets, not quite eavesdropping as much as I would had I been bored. I wonder if Princess picked up the check too..hmmm I should have stayed around for the grand finale!

A Large Popcorn and Soda Pop please….

The last few days has not only been pure poetry and romance but could potentially make it to the big screen with a great soundtrack. “These things only happen in movies!” The new year has brought me some new things to smile about, to plan for, and to keep a positive outlook that everything will work out just fine while sipping on a hot caffe macchiato from Starbucks. “We have all the time in the world ahead of us.”

Had certain scenarios not played out on a cold New Years Eve/Day I would not be plotting my next holiday and purchasing airline tickets, shopping in the VS catalog for something sexy to wear, then again, it wouldn’t be me not to follow my heart, because sometimes destiny only knocks once…I am not going to miss my flight.

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."

A View from the 41st Floor

I seldom write about things that make me happy, that bring that neverending smile to my face because in all honesty..its not funny, I can’t make it funny on here. The other day, I got on a train by myself for the first time ever (yes, traveling this mode of mass transportation by myself was forbidden in a past life), and I had the most incredible evening with a darling gent, surrounded by millions of people, but it seemed it was only us on city streets, drinking Winter Peach martinis, in an indescribable ambience only seen in movies. As shocking as the two different fabrics on winter coats coming into close contact causing that spark, I have to admit I’m purely smitten, which is poetry in itself.

I Love Dick! (Clark that is)

Happy New Year all! As 12:59 am approached I had such a great feeling about how this year was going to be, not a premonition but just a feeling and it wasn’t just from the alcohol or present company. I may have called you last night wearing a silver lei, a Happy New Year hat and a blinking pin that said Kiss Me Its New Years after I yelled “I Love Dick” at Dick Clark himself, a ritual that used to be part of the celebration in a past life. Besides someone drinking my beers, having me resort to Heiny Lite and a baby Guinness, a very Happy Viking, someone making it seem like they didn’t smack my ass, when I know they did when their date wasn’t looking, and multiple successful parties I attended, I’m happy to say that I have great friends, new and old, that leap tall buildings, go beyond the typical pong distraction and cross oceans for a down home party. The scent of a fresh shower washing away 2008, smells of beer pong, cigars, and the variety of fragrances from wishing everyone a happy new year are now gone and I’m reminiscing silently to myself over coffee and cookies. Il Bastardo you whorebath!...yes, you had to be there!

Things you Say at Christmas....

Things You Say At Christmas that make it a dirty holiday:

• I have a sex drive of a nine year old.
• I’m mounting tomorrow, 15 inches high into the stud.
• Don’t worry she won’t be black.
• Up against the wall you mfr.
• I like the real dark ones with big nuts.
• Once you go special dark you don’t go back.
• I don’t like dry nuts I like the wet ones.
• You need a nut experience.
• If you put nuts in a bush….
• He doesn’t know how to stiffen it enough
• I burned him off.
• I couldn’t let two women lick and suck me for 2 million $.
• I get spanked too.
• That was a really good blow
• You have to pull out the things.
• Full gas I am.
• I jammed it in here somewhere.
• You purposely put your hand there.
• Maybe next year I’ll twist it up.
• Show me your crack.
• It’s on display at the Smithsonian.

and a few more:

• I need the correct screws.
• Wow, ball finder glasses!
• We have difficulty finding the balls.
• Sometimes you can't watch the balls.
• I got my stroke counter!
• She needs her stroke counter to count my balls!

It's amazing how much normal conversation about christmas presents, cars, coffee, blowing your nose and cookies can seem so dirty!