Thursday, December 18, 2008

All I Want for Christmas

I think this might be one of my last entries on this subject, but I have to air it out. Holidays suck big time for me, they always have as long as I could remember. I’m not a Scrooge, they just don’t have those same traditional meanings as the olden days. Since my parents got divorced when I was a teenager holidays have been stressful on me, having to choose where to go. Having to feel guilty that I didn’t spend Easter with this one, or Christmas with that one. It continued when I got married, but now I had three families to deal with. Over the years my family got adjusted to the holidays, maybe they became more aware of the stress it was causing my sister and I with traveling to see them and how we just didn’t enjoy the holidays anymore and that guilt in me subsided. They understood when Thanksgiving came along that I had chosen to spend it with Dad instead of with Mom, because I knew that the next year it would switch up. My father passed away a few days before thanksgiving four years ago and that will always be a reminder around that time for me. When I had three families to contend with it was a huge weight on my shoulders because I knew my family would understand but for some reason it was only one sided. And if your family can’t understand that you have a life with a significant other and have to share these same holidays with them and their families then there’s a problem. I admit I never put my foot down, never said anything about it and I am in the wrong for that. But I did sacrifice a lot and so did my family. So as Christmas rolls around for the 2nd year in a row, I no longer have to get up at any set time to be somewhere I never understood I had to be. I’m doing the same thing I did last year, and honestly it was one of the better Christmas’. To spend the time with my family, even if its for a few hours I’m learning now about these holidays is the cherished time. You don’t have to spend 12 hours with them, just cherish the moment. They will understand if you can only stay for a little while, even just pop in for dessert, they are your family!

And until the day arrives..all I want for Christmas is to wake up and open my gifts in my pj’s with that certain someone (wherever he may be) and create traditions of our own (and see the family later)!

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