Friday, November 23, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving (the Adult Version)

Of course, what is Thanksgiving without turkey and an allergy test?  Well, many of you know I am allergic to certain foods, nuts and animals.  I was tested as a child and for most of my adult life dealt with being allergic to pineapple, walnuts, hazelnuts, cashews, I basically stayed away from all those nuts you find in the assorted nut bowl on the dinner table at the holidays.  So with a box of Benadryl and the phone handy to call 911 I started my own testing surrounded by family and friends.  First was pineapple, I had a piece and waited about 15 minutes for a reaction, then had another piece, an hour later, the usual symptoms of hives did not appear, hence I love pineapple now.  Throughout the last 5 years I’ve done this, this year its Pistachios and unfortunately as much as they were tasty I cannot have them.  They are in the same family as cashews and will definitely put me in the hospital (so unless you want to leave your turkey dinner early, I suggest not feeding them to me. :)

Most of you do not know that Thanksgiving is one of the most vulgar holidays of the year.  Take note to what is said at the dinner table, especially when the conversation strays off topic.  You may want to keep a small notepad handy to jot things down.  

Some key off topic comments: “Want to know what it tastes like?” Can’t get that smile off my face.” “There’s no a$$, or tits in here, but thanks anyway.”  “Now I gotta reach for it.”  “She can eat you under the table.”  “Was I supposed to tell you to stop?” “For the last 5 minutes you’ve been choking the neck, so what’s the difference?”  “Do you sing? – “Yes” – “Do you have a shower?” “It destroys the brass nuts.”

You can come up with your own story, for ours, it was another delicious meal followed by a 130 calorie homemade Pumpkin Spice cake by yours truly and ending with Black Friday shopping to burn off those unwanted extra calories. 

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