Friday, December 23, 2011

The Winter Solstice, or the Winter Solicit, I’m not sure which….

Two situations last night, basically happening in the same spot just at different times during the evening.

Walking to the ladies room:
Gent: Excuse me, are you red?  They must call you red.
Me: Sometimes
(Caught me off guard so I tried to keep it simple with one word answers).
Just keep walking!

Sitting at the bar, older gent, much older gent, should actually be retired, dressed in a work suit and nice jacket (if I didn’t know better I would have thought Santa had regular 9-5 job).  Thankfully my posse didn’t go very far and stayed within the ‘save me’ eye distance.
OD (old dog): Hello, you have a beautiful smile
Me: Thank you
(I figured he was just being nice and he would move along with the rest of his pack)
…I’m going to skip to the good stuff
OD: I’m (insert name here)
Me: I’m (insert pseudo name of the night here I carry these around with me like credit cards for times like this)
OD: Where are you from?
Me: I live in (insert pseudo name of the town I chose to live in for the night).
OD: Oh that’s pretty close
OD: What would you say if I asked you to come home and take care of me?
Me: (again caught off guard at his sheer bluntness) You’re a sweet man and I’m flattered but no.
(At this point I’m pissed, he’s blocked me in on the chair so I can’t get up unless I’m rude and did he just solicit me?)

A drink was put in my hand by one of my friends and I tried to ignore him the best I could, if you don’t make eye contact eventually he will go away.
OD: Would you think about it?
Me: No thank you, I’m flattered.
It may have been the way I said that, that prompted him to say
OD: I guess I should walk away now
Me: Yes.

I’ll give the OD credit, he tried and failed even with the Claddagh ring on his finger, I should have suggested he meet my Grandma, she’s single.

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