Ladies, ladies, ladies, my single ladies, my newly single ladies, my newly back in the game again ladies what are you doing? I too was one back in the game and had to re-learn the new or old rules, which pretty much remained the same except texting replaced a pager. But I did not faulter, lean or hand out second chances to anyone undeserving.
Normally I do not write about my friends experiences however I thought this deserved a spot. Recently one of my Angels met this guy at a fine restaurant at a work happy hour, they exchanged numbers, talked for what seemed to be an eternity then she hoped he’d contact her for a potential date. He contacted her to talk, via text and somewhere along the conversation he got short with her and said ‘whatever’ to something they were talking about. It seemed he did not get the joke, that whatever was in the exchange he took personally. He never responded for 4 days. Rule number one, when first meeting a guy and texting for the first time do not have marathon texting sessions. I won’t tell you the main reason why because then it would be giving away more of our secrets, other than the obvious where one of you misunderstands something in the conversation. After 4 days he finally texts her and they chat and he asks her out for Saturday night, he said “We’ll go to dinner then dancing”. I was leary for her to do this since he was AWOL for 4 days and now I guess he’s free Saturday, all comments and misunderstandings aside. Plus, we had a side conversation that perhaps this guy was accustomed to having his way so he misinterpreted what she said. Any guy that takes what you say personally has issues and those issues can never be fixed.
So she’s all excited, she texts me what she’s wearing, needed some advice on what shoes to wear, purse, etc. (this is what us gals do). I tell her to be careful and have fun, something was still off about this one, even if I never met him.
The next morning I get a ‘that f-in sucked’ text from her. I listen, I ask minimal questions and then she says, ‘he’s got one more chance’. Um – hell no! This guy asked her out, he said he would take her out for ’ dinner and dancing’ so he should have had plans for the evening. Apparently there was no plan, no set dinner reservations, no ‘dancing’ venue he planned ahead to go to. Nothing. Where did they end up? Houlihans! This is a 40 year old man, who asked my friend out. If a guy asks a woman out he better have a plan for the evening. Men do not get do-overs for not having a ‘plan’ on a first date. She gave him her number because there was something there, so he needs to impress her with a plan for the evening. If roles were reversed and she asked him out she would have had a plan for the evening.
Life is too short to deal with this nonsense – Men who have plans are sexy especially on a first impression. It’s down the road where you can wing it and negotiate plans, but most definitely not on a first date. You got our number, now impress us.
Of course I told her nicely that he does not get a second chance for being incompetent. He had all those days he didn’t talk to her, plus the time he set up the date to before the date to make plans. Sorry buck-o, she tossed you back into the loser pool to move on to something better.
**Last night I was witness to a similar situation, my friend’s friend just happened to be meeting a guy for a first date at this restaurant we were at. She walked over and said hi to us and explained the situation. While we were talking her date texts her and said he’d be there at 8:30 pm, it was 7:45, they had planned to meet at 8. She told him she’d have a drink and if he wasn’t there by then she was going to leave. 8:30 rolls around and we’re waiting with her and he texts her ‘Closer to 9’, she oh so nicely replied, ‘I’m leaving’. I’m not sure what happened after we all left the restaurant, if he even contacted her to reschedule (again, apparently this was the 2nd reschedule). I implied that he never left in the first place. You set plans for 8 pm, don’t expect us to wait for you either. NEXT!