Adventures in Baby Shower Planning

Many of you do not know but I moonlight as a Party Planner, probably way before I planned my own wedding.  My dad’s surprise 50^th party was not the first successful party under my belt as I planned and executed many other surprise birthday’s prior to that in college.  And the list continues on with most recently two surprise 60^th’s (my mom’s venue had to be changed the day of with that freak snowstorm October 2011 all within a matter of a few hours).   I even assisted with planning the ‘renewal of vows’ for my folks, trying to keep individual secrets from both parties was a chore, but it went off without a hitch including flowers and a real wedding cake. (I think I learned from my mistakes when I planned my wedding to make it easier and beautiful for them, get something simple and make it their day, not a day for everyone else.  Yes we do learn and yes I’d do it all differently, with a different groom of course if that day ever comes). 

Now I get to add “Baby Shower in another state” under my belt.  I had no idea how to start this one, but thankfully my sister provided a potential list of venues, along with her list of attendees and bakeries in the area making it a bit easier to just pick up a phone.  I like to call it ‘her requirements’, which everyone should take note. I am now a firm believer that surprises should be left to all events except a baby shower – the Mommy-to-be should not be surprised!  She even provided ideas for invitations, favors and dessert, my brother in law even said he’d help out if we had questions.  The only ‘surprise’ about this one will be the venue and I am taking every precaution to make sure what is on the menu is not part of the ‘pregnancy no-nos’ she’s experiencing.  I even asked her what kind of cake she wanted – had she asked for a PB one, I would have gotten her a small personal cake and a regular one for the rest of us.

  

I’m extremely grateful that her two SIL’s stepped in to help and also one of her good friends, without their help, assistance, suggestions and trust this would be very difficult from afar.  I even asked her husband for some thoughts, suggestions and a birds eye view on what she says and hints at.  I did want to be very detailed and personal for her shower, especially the cake.  Everyone does a twist on “We’re having a baby” cake and I wanted to personalize it with something she said or made reference to, not something the bakery has in their abundance of pictures of cakes they’ve done for others in the past.  I almost went with ‘Flutters of Hope” until she said ‘he’s kicking now and it hurts”, so I went with a twist on what she has been referring to her little boy as “little man”.  “Welcome to the World Little Man Messia” was written on the cake, thanks to Coccadotts in Albany for the fantastic cake (and the 12 crazy cupcakes we walked away with). 

She requested a ‘green’ shower, and by that meant do not wrap anything!  Not ‘does she like green?’, ‘does that mean the gifts have to be wrapped green?’ By doing this, all the gifts were on display on the gift table and she went through revealing the gifts and opening the cards (shaving off at least 1 hour and a half and saving the environment at the same time).  She then had time to spend with everyone who came to her shower instead of 3 hours opening gifts. 

The only thing we did not expect happening was people not showing up who RSVP’d and someone bringing a friend along.  My mom said, “that woman was not invited” as if she memorized the RSVP list (see all the more reason to take attendance at the door).  This woman did in fact bring a gift and with us having a few less people for the headcount she didn’t cost us any additional money.  Had she not brought a gift, I might have gone “Carmela Soprano” on her. 

At the end of the event, my sister had a smile on her face, everyone seemed to have a great time (even with a cash bar) and I not only held my first baby shower event, but was hinting at being hired for “Little Man’s” first birthday party (whichever one he’ll remember)!

Still Stitched Up

Removing my stitches could not have come at a better time.  I’ve had to deal with being more uncomfortable than when I had stitches in my hand.  This was pure bad luck.  I learned I was allergic to the glue used in the medical tape they used to put the gauze on to cover the 11 stitches.   I also learned that after 3-4 days of using the bacitracin I was starting to get an allergic reaction to that as well.  So now I had this box of a rash around the stitches from the tape and also had to figure out a way to air out the wound.  (Laying on my side with half my body covered in a blanket seemed to work).  Then in my quest for something other than Neosporin, since I’m highly allergic to it moreso the ingredient neomycin, which is also one of the top 10 topical ointment skin allergies, I hit a wall.  Apparently the same first aid cream found in a white tube, made by Johnson & Johnson that I had used when I had stitches in my hand has been discontinued.  (This worked like a charm on my hand, so thanks to Google I found a good substitute (First Aid Ointment contains same ingredients).  Thankfully I ended up at Walgreens and bought the “First Aid Ointment” only after asking the cashier to hold my stuff so I could go home and get my wallet (the excitement got to me or was it the Percoset?)

Week three I’m stuck wearing only khakis and sweats because they do not apply any pressure on my hip where all the rest of my pants seemed to fall, oh and don’t forget the underwear, anything low rise was used because the waistband fell way below the stitches line.    I have not worked out in now going on three weeks,  except for push ups, I have not worn jeans in the same amount of time.  I have had it and thanks to Sandy, I can’t reschedule my appointment yet because the office is closed.  Take these things out please.  I am fearing the worst, that this will go on another week.  I should have taken my SIL’s advice over the weekend when she offered to remove them herself.

This has not been fun, I thought having stitches in my hand was rough, this is now uncomfortable going into the 3rd week.  I guess it could be worse, but today, yes today, now that power is restored, I venture on the treadmill. 

RSVP 2012 – things still haven’t changed

As a follow up to my 2011 post “The Reasons behind RSVP” I have met this feat with great disrespect for the term.  I recently planned my sister’s baby shower, and those of you who have done this have probably gone through the same frustrations as I, especially because we need a headcount for the caterer, the games, the favors, etc.  You are dishing out money for this event so you need to stay on top of everything, you want to make this event special.   Hence why we put RSVP by such-n-such date.  The invites were mailed out about a month in advance, giving everyone ample time to RSVP by email or by phone (by giving people choices I thought would make things easier).  The due date for RSVP came with 10 people we had to follow up on, not entirely bad, but how hard is it for adults to respond yes or no.  I’m sure they’ve been through this before.  Anyway, having to hound people for a response is my forte’, it’s like collecting money, you pay up or you don’t get anything, not that this is the case we just needed an answer.  As one who may have delayed RSVPing to the very last day to some events I’ve been invited to, I can attest that these invites can get lost, misplaced, or just plain forgotten about.  Now what does that say to the person the event is being held for? I don’t think anyone thinks about that – its very disrespectful.  We’re not mind readers either, we’re not going to assume because you live in another state doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t make the trip. 

So had this not been for my sister, had this been a friend of mine (with a sense of humor), or even an event of my own, I would not think twice about checking off an ‘rsvp’ list to those who walk through the door,  “Oh I’m sorry you didn’t RSVP, we don’t have a seat for you.” Now that would teach them.   I do feel sorry for those of us who have to ‘hound’ adults and hold their hand to this simple task.  Either way, my sister is going to have a very special baby shower and I will bite my tongue just this once to those who show but didn’t RSVP.

Pre-Cancerous Spot Removal

The official term for removing this mole is called an excision, not quite an exorcism but an excision.  I guess because its half in the body and half out.  I was fairly calm walking into the appointment and having to deal with their computer technical difficulties before the procedure.  One of the release forms I read on a printed piece of paper, but signed via IPad explained all the risks associated with an ‘excisional surgery’ or complications such as scar, bleeding, infection, nerve damage, not so bad, I don’t care about nerve damage on my hip anyway.  Cancer is a lot worse than what they have listed and again, thank god I’m doing this now.  Then I read down to postoperative care (another reason why I checked my first aid stash), not so bad I can handle this. 

Now I’m in the room answering more typical medical questions (the nurse started our introductions with 'Hello, I'm _____, you look nervous as hell') um, heck yeah. Then I clued her in that I thought the doctor would use a cork screw to take it out.  She hands me the typical paper examining robe and the doctor comes back in to mark the spot. He pulls out a black Sharpie and draws an ‘eye’ (yes an actual eye) on the mole using the cornea as the mole itself.  In my opinion it reminded me of those old  ‘color by number’ books we had as kids.   After he leaves she injects the Novocain which felt like the needle was in there forever, it was a cold and warming feeling (thank goodness I emptied my bladder before I got there).  About 10 minutes later the doctor comes back in and here we go.  I felt what I thought were three incisions, the outline of the eyeball and then taking out the middle.  Followed by “you’re going to hear a little buzzing” (um ok), they should have said it would be followed by a burning smell. I asked if it was a laser and he said he quarterized it (he didn’t answer my question or he did and I was just too numb to ‘get it’). Anyway that was it, then he stitched me up and said he was doing them ‘surgically’ to limit how big the scar would be.  (Sure I don’t care, its going to be covered by my underwear waist band anyway.) Then I got dressed, got my next appointment to get the stitches removed in two weeks and off I went to get my meds filled.  I guess when a doctor gives you a script for Percoset it means I’m going to feel some sort of pain afterwards.

I was in the office for 1 hr and 12 minutes for a 5-8 minute procedure not counting the 10 minutes it took to numb me up.  I love it when they say, “You’re going to feel a little pinch” (um ok) and “Let us know if you feel something” (um ok) then what, are you really going to shoot me up again?  I felt the last two stitches go in (it was no more than a ‘little pinch’) and then I took a peek before she put gauze over it.  Nice and straight like train tracks (11 stitches in all). 

Overall I’m glad this is done and over with, except for the part of going back in two weeks to get the stitches removed.  I don’t want to be part of a statistic for fair skinned females getting skin cancer, another reason why it’s important for everyone on a yearly basis to get screened.  Now I have to find all my low rise undees that won’t put any pressure on the wound for two weeks and no swimming in the pool for me!

Spot Removal – Part 2 the final countdown

Finally after almost a month the doctor called with the results of the biopsy they performed on the two moles they semi-removed.  Finally…and I took a breath and listened as she told me “the one on you back came back negative” (whew) “and the one on your hip came back with abnormal cells” (inhale), “that came back as not cancerous” (um ok) “but could turn into something in the future” (um ok) “so we’d like to remove that as a precautionary measure.”  Great…my heart is racing at this point just imagining had I not gone this year, had they not suggested to biopsy these..well let’s not think about what could it be down the line.  I finally exhaled and inhaled again and had her repeat what she said about the mole on my hip, which they want to take the rest of it out, requiring stitches.  “Ok, now how do I do this around softball, I wanted to run the 5k in October” I thought, and then thought about it again from a realistic standpoint to f$%# my schedule - I want this taken care of now. 

I found myself saying ‘no’ to events people are planning ahead for in October, I’ll miss a few games of the fall season.  I won’t run in October in that race, hoping it will be back next year. I said ‘no’ to a race in November, knowing I won’t have time to prepare.  It actually gives me a goal or two to work harder toward in the winter and to get stronger.  Strong enough to do a 10K when this comes around next year.  Strong enough that I made it clear I’m doing the 40 miles in the Grand Fondo bicycle race in 2013. 

But now a week to go and its on my mind. How many stitches? How are they going to remove this? How much pain am I going to be in? Do I have to buy more gauze? (My first aid supply is quite abundant since I had my first bout with stitches 3 years ago.)  Are they going to use a cork screw to take it out?  What’s the over/under for the amount of stitches?  All I know is that I have to come back in 2 weeks to take them out..who knows what kind of, if any pain I’ll be in for that time.

Not-so 'free screenings' blow smoke

This is the 2^nd year my company has been offering a free ‘bio screening’ for getting a discount on health insurance premiums (we have to pass all their requirements “take a biometric test and test nicotine free” >>We get a deducted amount of money out of our pay check per month, however, if you think about it, each year the premiums go up, and if we meet their health goals then we get the discount. I still haven’t decided if I’m ‘winning’ anyway.)

So last year I pass it with flying colors, not a smoker (not sure why they have to actually test for that anyway when the rest of my results were stellar).  This year I booked one of the first appointments, to get it out of the way.  They do a cheek swab for ‘nicotine’, prick my finger for blood work for cholesterol and right after (why they do it after and not before) they check my blood pressure.  Results are finalized by some small computer thing on the table and I walk over to their ‘freebie’ consultant table. I’m still not convinced these people are certified, yet qualified to tell me how to change things if anything was abnormal.  She makes me retake my blood pressure, obviously since it had elevated after they pricked my finger, she makes a comment about my HDL (the good cholesterol), level was slightly lower than normal.  Everything else was on par.  **They only use a small sample of blood from your finger to conduct these tests and you do not have to fast.

I had a yearly physical scheduled for the next month anyway, deciding to bring my paperwork with me to compare what they did.  Three weeks later I received a letter from the company that runs the nicotine test, saying the test revealed ‘cotinine’, which is an indicator of tobacco smoke exposure, aka 2^nd hand smoke to a non-smoker (which I am).  The results didn’t show any ng/mL levels, but regardless I was furious, because I am a non-smoker and I am not surrounded by chain smokers who pay little respect to me as a non-smoker by blowing smoke in my face.  Immediately I call my doctor to see if they can add on the nicotine test to my blood work when I come in for the physical which they most certainly can.

Now my appointment, where I tell  my doctor the story and he laughs as if he were a made man, “that’s crazy, don’t worry we’ll take care of it.”   Routine physical done, blood work done – check, now I can’t wait for the results.  I was actually very impatient about this because having to prove to my health provider that I wasn’t a smoker p-d me off.  In a way I felt violated, having to prove myself and thinking now that someone is getting a kickback.  Anyway, my proof came in a phone call when my results came back from my doctor, all perfect, negative for nicotine as expected and off goes the fax to my health care provider.  Too bad I couldn’t attach a note saying “See I told you so.”

Don’t mistake this for knocking on a free service provided by my work’s healthcare provider, it may benefit some people, especially those that need to change their health for the better.  However a yearly trip to my doctor for a physical is definitely worth it because its covered under health insurance (sans the write off for a co-pay).  Yes it’s a PITA for an appointment, and to fast just for blood work but to get the expert test results done right and to make sure all systems are go its well worth the drive.  It’s such a shame us healthy folks have to go through all this trouble for a discount.

*Ultimately I think someone was getting a kickback to have x amount of people test positive for cotinine or nicotine, so you won't see me lining up for the freebie next year > JMO.

CAMPING 101 and other things

(Parental Guidance is Suggested)

I start off regretting never doing this all the other times I went camping, aside from the funny pictures back then, the ‘caution tape’ woman, endless sangria and burning of clothing pictures I do not have any quotes from those trips.  Here’s to starting off camping the right way – and never telling you ‘who said that’!

Look I have a big pole.

Is that a mallet?

And a polar, you got a Klingon.

The box is too small.

Are you putting our fly up?

The hoses are underground but the heads you can see. (obviously talking about the sprinkler system)

Ours goes up quick.

Don’t touch the sides?

Is it ok if I touch the front?

Need to get a little protein in there

That’ll be the 16 inches

You’re a fatty pants that’s why you need a big tent.

You have the right to bear arms.

A little bit of ____ (I’m refraining from putting exactly what was said here, the entire conversation would have to be typed out to understand)

This looks like Occupy ## Old Penn Drive

How much length can you take?

I like the body wash, it has a nice smell to it.

I really hope it clears up tonight, I was looking forward to seeing Uranus and the rings of Saturn.

I had a huge one and put it in a box.

You’re gonna be wrapped up inside me so don’t worry about it.

Dad you taught me that tongue action.

Is it soft enough so you can bite into it?

The tents big enough I won’t smell you.

Is there room in there for morning juice?

Morning juice is the sweetest type of juice

Well, I don’t know about YOUR morning juice

She can sit in there till the morning for all I care.

That was cold in my mouth

Check out Rob’s wood

There’s a difference between a cougar and a mountain lion

Its pixilated

This looks like a sex toy

This is more complicated than it needs to be

There’s always time for wine.

You have to put it on and tie it where you want it.

You can actually reuse it too.

50 shades of Earl Grey

It’s a vent hole…like the sheep.

Push it in the hole – its too deep.

She’s making a club up in here

Its not the size of the tent it’s the time it takes to pitch a tent

U can multi size them? 

Every day for the rest of my life

I wanted everyone to find my nipples tonite

Did you see the size of his head?

Finish your poo!

I’ve got my thing hanging out waiting to get bit and swollen.

He schmeared it all over himself.

Got to get it limp first before you carmelize it and get it hard.

That takes big ones

You can pull the cord anytime you want.

That’s a good piece of wood.

Obviously anything you say during camping can be misconstrued, but it takes the right group of people to make it funnier!