CAMPING 101 and other things

(Parental Guidance is Suggested)

I start off regretting never doing this all the other times I went camping, aside from the funny pictures back then, the ‘caution tape’ woman, endless sangria and burning of clothing pictures I do not have any quotes from those trips.  Here’s to starting off camping the right way – and never telling you ‘who said that’!

Look I have a big pole.

Is that a mallet?

And a polar, you got a Klingon.

The box is too small.

Are you putting our fly up?

The hoses are underground but the heads you can see. (obviously talking about the sprinkler system)

Ours goes up quick.

Don’t touch the sides?

Is it ok if I touch the front?

Need to get a little protein in there

That’ll be the 16 inches

You’re a fatty pants that’s why you need a big tent.

You have the right to bear arms.

A little bit of ____ (I’m refraining from putting exactly what was said here, the entire conversation would have to be typed out to understand)

This looks like Occupy ## Old Penn Drive

How much length can you take?

I like the body wash, it has a nice smell to it.

I really hope it clears up tonight, I was looking forward to seeing Uranus and the rings of Saturn.

I had a huge one and put it in a box.

You’re gonna be wrapped up inside me so don’t worry about it.

Dad you taught me that tongue action.

Is it soft enough so you can bite into it?

The tents big enough I won’t smell you.

Is there room in there for morning juice?

Morning juice is the sweetest type of juice

Well, I don’t know about YOUR morning juice

She can sit in there till the morning for all I care.

That was cold in my mouth

Check out Rob’s wood

There’s a difference between a cougar and a mountain lion

Its pixilated

This looks like a sex toy

This is more complicated than it needs to be

There’s always time for wine.

You have to put it on and tie it where you want it.

You can actually reuse it too.

50 shades of Earl Grey

It’s a vent hole…like the sheep.

Push it in the hole – its too deep.

She’s making a club up in here

Its not the size of the tent it’s the time it takes to pitch a tent

U can multi size them? 

Every day for the rest of my life

I wanted everyone to find my nipples tonite

Did you see the size of his head?

Finish your poo!

I’ve got my thing hanging out waiting to get bit and swollen.

He schmeared it all over himself.

Got to get it limp first before you carmelize it and get it hard.

That takes big ones

You can pull the cord anytime you want.

That’s a good piece of wood.

Obviously anything you say during camping can be misconstrued, but it takes the right group of people to make it funnier!