The trip
started out as a drive to Albany to fly with my sister (I promised her I’d stay
sober on the flights till at least Baltimore (our first connection)).
The flight to
Baltimore was easy, except for the cranky mom in front of me in line before we
boarded who was complaining to her husband they should have never taken the
o’dark’30 flight (because this one didn’t get enough sleep and they had a
miserable fight the night before)…lady, do you realize there are others in line
behind you that can hear your entire conversation? Anyway, kudos to the
flight crew for being fun and friendly, then we had Starbucks for breakfast and
I indulged in a chilled Kettle One at about 9 am before our flight out.
In the airport the fashion was disappointing, I only spotted 1 pair of crocs, 2
traveling dogs and a girl wearing extreme-ankle-killing open toed wedge
sandals.
From
Baltimore we headed to San Diego with a flight attendant who resembled the
younger of the two from Mythbusters. While boarding two gents asked “Do
you have two together?” they must have wanted to sit together once they boarded
(but could have phrased it less like ‘just jack’). In flight snacks (yes,
we were calorie counting) consisted of 1 small bag of Pretzels by King Nut
Company (90 calories), Traditional Wheat thins (100 calories), a bag of “plane”
cookies (90 calories), a bag of Peanuts by King Delicious Nuts (70 calories)
(what’s the difference in King Nut and King Delicious Nuts? They could be the
same company, just different tasting nuts? J), and 1 Subway ham and cheese,
followed by 3 waters and 2 cape cods (splash of cranberry only). The
announcement for food once we reached 10,000 feet was followed by ‘here is your
sustenance!’ – meaning if you didn’t buy anything in the airport to eat for the
next 4 hours you were screwed.
Sightseeing
made for a few fun local comments and people watching. We had been walking in
one of the outdoor malls and were asked by store owners “hey ladies you wanna
massage?” (picture Long Duck Dong from Pretty In Pink and then ask yourself the
question to get the full affect). “No thank you” obviously, and we kept
walking. While waiting for the bus, I noticed that Cinderella travels
with her castle on top of her killer caravan and it lights up at night, just
without the ‘when you wish upon a star’ theme song. (And I thought
decorating your car with lights at Christmas time was a bit much). She
had Mickey and Minnie as “hitch” hikers (no joke) they were fastened on her
back bumper. This was an eventful bus stop because I met a homeless man
who not only had a bus pass also had the new iPhone. Hmm..how does that happen?
Going out
with my sister usually brings about numerous questions of “are you
twins?” but this trip stumped a lot of people. “Sisters?
Mother/Daughter? Friends?” asked one jogger who just was curious and wanted to
know, I’m still curious who he thought the mother was.
The plane
ride home was a trip in itself after we dropped our donation in the Vegas
airport, the crew was hysterical and the pilot wasn’t too bad to look at either
(when we saw him). When demonstrating how to put the air mask on in case of
loss in cabin pressure “If you are traveling with kids, I’m sorry. Just
pick out the kid who has the most potential and help them first, then assist
the next one.”
When you get
back and people start asking you about your vacation never start a sentence
with ‘I met a homeless man’ because people will automatically assume it’s a
romantic involvement and ask “Is it serious?”
Sidebar: To
the parents who stole my idea for the bungee cord, at the Zoo they had their 5
kids all holding on to this long rope, each was assigned a colored disk to hold
onto, guess its better than pushing multiple strollers. And here I
thought a belt with bungee cords would be the ultimate idea.
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