You Have My Figs

I'm trying to figure out where to begin after venturing on long country roads to finally have a beer at the bar that sponsors the softball team. Through countless times of hearing me say 'where the f-am I?' and yelling at Samantha on the GPS from giving me a wrong starting point and a wrong turn, at least the front parking space paid off without a cover charge. Its not everyday that you see Slash from GNR walking around in a purple tank top, black 1984 skinny jeans and women's flip flops..its also not everyday that I get a chance encounter with the man, if only to try to snag his purple leopard print scarf he had around his neck. This night was one of many firsts...first time riding the bull, watching a wet t-shirt contest and having a snake bit shot that tasted like Theraflu. But it all still left me wondering why a plastic pool belongs where a band would play at a bar anyway. Unfortunately I didn't leave with a souvenir, just a few rug burns from the bull and a text message about 'figs' - (but I really think it was meant to say 'cigs').