Foul Ball – Strike 3, You’re out!

I thought I was handling things quite good until the other night. My personal space was violated, not once but twice in the same week on different days. If my wardrobe had anything to do with it, that’s really pathetic because the temperature in the office has been prohibiting me from wearing anything provocative and sexy, so I know that wasn’t the case. Was this just a strange week for strange men in general? I’m not a liquor store after 9 pm, nor am I the neighbors bartender and girl on the side when his chick is passed out on the couch. And I don’t accept freebees in the garage at odd hours of the night either, what a low life that guy is to think I would have changed my mind after all this time. Duh. I’ve reorganized my apartment again so when I swing that 28 oz bat of mine I won’t break anything when and if he comes to the door and when and if I decide to answer it. But I hate feeling trapped in my own place always being on the defensive. I can’t wait to get out of here.

Maybe it was something in the water this week. Maybe the crazy heatwave that triggered such a frenzy with all the wrong people. But that was the highlight until something else happened that I refuse to give any details about on here except for yet another 'closing arguement. Not cool and definitely didn’t score brownie points. I’m glad I have secret weapons in my car within arms reach that I can use at a moments notice, besides slamming my car door on a poor mans fingers. If you can read my mind, I don’t think he remembers a damn thing from all the alcohol he consumed, another thing he denied. Strike two in one week, I hope this weekend promises more Mango Daquiris because I definitely need a few.

I lied

I was asked a question point blank in a round-about way and I lied. Well, I didn’t completely lie, I just withheld information to preserve the delicate strings my heart was held by so I didn’t tell the whole truth at the time and now I think its biting me in the ass. I mean, I wasn’t completely sober at the time either but I think if anything, I would have remembered that and I honestly can say I didn’t remember it. Now if the question was phrased differently however, my answer might have been different at that time, but the chicken in me appeared and I failed to come clean. I can’t go back and change it now and that my friends is regret that I hate to have. If by some sheer hope of a next time, I will not throw caution to the wind, I will just let it fly and take that giant leap just like Julia Roberts in My Best Friends Wedding.

Checking my watch again

Many good old stories say you only find love one time in your life. That there is one perfect moment in ones life where all the stars and planets are aligned correctly and the two of you were meant to meet and spend the rest of your lives together. I do believe that people are meant to meet for a reason or another. You may meet someone and they may have a great affect on your life, you may have an affect on theirs. I also believe that we fall in and out of love many times, that only the truest loves, such as Princess Buttercup and Wesley, never leave your heart no matter where you are in life. That for one reason or another you may continue to run into them throughout your life, unexpectedly, by sheer coincidence or pure luck. The timing may not be right when it happens, timing may never be right for the two of you but eventually when the stars and planets are aligned correctly, even if months and years, decades pass by, and that feeling is still within, that you should reach out and enjoy the ride. It could be timing, it could be a feeling you have that you just can’t deny anymore, but you shouldn’t be afraid of it. After all, its been hanging out like a dirty thought lost in a nice clean mind and just decided to surface and say “Hello, are you friggin blind?” The perfect time for it doesn’t exist, it just happens and you have to take a chance and do things you may never have done before. The ride is exhilarating, nerve wracking and mind boggling, why not reach out and grab what you truly want. First and second chances do not happen often enough for us to shake our head and wonder why we did or didn’t do that. If that second chance comes around to me again, I’m going to reach out and grab hold, I don’t want it to slip by because if I do, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

Back up in the Air (Almost)

- Note to self – do not attempt to read a book while intoxicated or having a good buzz – words just jump off the pages.
- Child behind me is kicking my seat and we haven’t taken off yet.
- My window is a little cleaner this time around.
- Oh this is going to be a fun trip with screaming child. “I want candy” she said 11 times and we haven’t taken off yet!
- OK let’s taxi and sit for awhile..again.
- At least the child behind me has stopped wanting candy!
- WTF are no-see-ums?
- My stomach is on fire right now – so much for SPF, or lack of.
- “I need Barney – not candy”- at least she stopped kicking.
- For the most part the sunset from the tarmack was a goodone.
- No music on this plane either – wtf!
- This is why I don’t like to drink before I get on a plane. Everytime I hit the bar early, I get delayed and delayed again. Why get an early buzz just to waste it?
- Now I’m watching thunderstorms – where’s my beverage?
- No beverage but I found my spot to focus on! Focus – young g-hoppa’!
- Pilot said we’d be flying over Raleigh, DC, Philly and into NJ – I’ll attempt to wave again.
- Its 10:25 pm..where are we? (notice the time lag in entries due to beverage service and concentration on storms).

What to do in the airport when you are delayed

Shopping, drinking, making drunk phone calls to friends, people watching, and talking to perfect and not so perfect strangers. You know when you take a seat that isn’t occupied in the waiting to board area and you kindly ask the person if there was/is anyone sitting there? Then you sit down and somehow that seems like it was an invitation to open a conversation. You get to the point where you just want this person to shut the f-up because you have had a few beers and can’t keep your thoughts straight. Now you hope this person isn’t sitting near you or next to you on the plane. Thankfully so this one wasn’t, and I got to enjoy a cold one all to myself!

Going back north..or so I thought

I started the day with breakfast, holding my cousin’s son Blase Carl and sitting poolside until it was time to put the top down and go to the airport for a flight time of 5:58 pm back to EWR. Airport check-in indicated a flight change to 5:10 pm, no problem man. I go thru security, stand in yet another line (here we go again with lines) at Quiznos for grub and my phone rings. It’s my uncle who had a 1:10 flight who’s still on the concourse. Now I’m looking at a 4-5 hr delay since his flight time is now mine! Lovely.

On to the departure festivities:
- 5 hr delay
- 22 oz beers (2 Sam Adams, 1 Bass) and 1 smaller Sam A at Miller’s Brew Pub
- 3 delayed flights..gee all to EWR
- 2 on time departures (to Albany and Philly)
- Bathroom on concourse doesn’t have trough that Mom was talking about.
- 1 guy with bright orange crocs on
- Why else would a flight be delayed? Duh. (man asks bartender stupid question)
- No one has asked me what I was writing
- I completely adore the guy leaving the bar with purple and black man bag.
- Make that 2 men with purple man bags
- Its nice to be the only chick at the bar with 22 oz beers!

Total croc count overall - 4

Knowing that your parents connecting flight gets them off the ground and back home before you – friggin priceless!

The Main Event

Before I begin…do not fight with sister in elevator even if it means when the doors open you are pulling each other’s hair out! Fake fighting still hurts!

Reception Observations and key quotes (not that I was paying attention or anything):
Chicky in brown dress shouldn’t bend over to pick anything up for potential of unleashing the girls. “They’re real and they’re huge!”
I’m waiting to see the chicky in the black lace dress sit down and bend over, that in itself is a challenge.
“Dancefloor looks like 287 – unsafe and unstable.”
“Last time he’s gonna have the upper hand.” – kudos to the best man!
“She’s a cougar” – ha ha, sorry boys, you wouldn’t have a chance in hell anyway.

Side note: I never thought I’d be laying in my hotel room conjuring up ways to get back at the screaming sorority girls in the hallway who were decorating and fertilizing the poolside trees once they made their way outside. I’ll never tell you what I came up with either.

Total croc count at wedding - 0