Reader Interpretation

I’m smiling, yes, because I know what you’re thinking and you are not saying a word. You don’t want to, you are afraid to ask. But I sit here smiling knowing that each of these things that you read you will never entirely figure out the whole truth. You can’t handle the truth! What’s great about writing, what’s great about the way I write, there could be many stories to these little thoughts I conjure up, many different twists and turns like an old wooden rollercoaster in the rain. I might just skip right off the track and plummet down knowing the next word I write could make a big difference in how you interpret what I’ve written today. My poetry speaks the same language, many different stories hidden between the lines, might be one thought, might be something that inspired me to pick up that pen and start writing, but only I know what I mean, and you can interpret it any way you like.

Playing with the Queen of Hearts

Back in May I compared “love” to a game of cards. Playing your cards right, betting high, no expectations, going all in, striking it big and folding early. But are we all just a card out of 52? Am I the Queen of Hearts? And you the Jack of Spades? Does love and relationships come down to just a coin toss? No, not really. It’s not a game, we’re too old for that now. Let’s see if I have this right – you put yourself out there, you meet new people, maybe you “let them in” to see your good and bad sides, physical and emotional scars, you share interests, likes and dislikes, common bonds, you give them a chance to see where it goes. Wait, I forgot the most important part – the SPARK! The SPARK has to be there before I “let them in”. In my world it is all about the SPARK. You all know what I’m talking about – you might have a different term for it, but it’s the same thing. I admit, I’m not the easiest person to get to know, but I’ll give you a “piece of me” a little at a time if we share the same breeze. I’m not the Queen of Hearts, we are all not cards in a deck and our life is not to be played with. However, if you think I’m bluffing, then corner me, because I might not be and I could fold easily.

I never told you if I struck it big or not, and I’m not about to because I still have some chips left and I’m still holding a great set of cards.

(One) of the most sexiest things about a man – his honesty

Better than Chocolate?

I recently saw something I really really liked. Liked it better than chocolate, it had a tremendous effect on me. (I wanted it bad – when you are window shopping and you see those heels that you just have to have - bad!) If it was chocolate, I’d want it to be a pool so I could swim in it forever, continually dive in over and over again. But it wasn’t a pool of chocolate. It wasn’t something I could buy either, unlike that awesome mango martini I had the other night. It was untouchable (an antique), unreachable (I need a step stool), out there (not in space) but “within a glance”. So I relished in thought, added some background music, with the potential that if I could buy it, I would pay top dollar, and wouldn’t ever trade it in for anything in the world. Now I’m addicted to it (like a RPG video game), and distracted (like a dirty thought in my nice clean mind) and am always thinking about diving into that pool and floating around on a raft with a fruity drink. Right now I can’t float around on the raft, the image is burned in my brain with the impossible idea that it would ever happen and that I’d get a pool pass to dive in. But I can enjoy the moment, because they could run out of chocolate or they could give me that pool pass.

This is not a dream, this is completely real and if you are curious, just ask. My “eyes” have nothing to hide.

Analyze This

I’m completely distracted today, I forgot my essential items: my phone charger, my planner, I’m lucky I left my glasses on my desk at work! I did get a good nights sleep after Shawn Green hit one out in the 11th inning, but the humidity is getting to me. Did you ever wonder about something? Anything? Just wonder…what if? You sit there deep in thought, you pick it apart, you analyze, compare, contrast, you look for a deeper meaning to help guide your way. After an hour or two and a slight headache you decide that you’ve disassembled every possible angle, and that there is no answer. Nothing, not even a glimpse of a light that leads to that dark cave. Let’s start again, no, let’s not, because this is the cycle that I normally go thru to figure things out, analyze, compare, contrast, pros vs cons. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t sleep, not the major reason though. I’m not ready to share that with my readers yet. And I say it, I say it again….no more analyzing, compare, contrast, pros vs cons. No more headaches and sleepless nights caused by a meer distraction of that stupid, never ending “what if”. There is no “what if” and “if only”, that was the past. Why think about it – why worry about it – just do it and let it happen, whatever it may be. If you don’t turn that flashlight on, you’ll never see what lies ahead of you.

Nothing at All, but Maybe Something

Maybe that song isn’t so bad after all. I know it will not disappear, you can’t wipe it out like a stain in your shirt. But if I hear it at the right moment in time, then its not so bad after all - it must be a “sign”.

Nothing - Nothing at All

Recently I switched radio stations at work, due to better reception and the motivation of not wanting to hit someone or bang my head against the wall. This station plays everything, songs I like, love, hate, and haven’t heard in a very long time. I am a big fan of lyrics, I can play name that tune with anyone. But today, was again, no ordinary day. There is this one song that I hated, I always hated, and then it grew on me, I enjoyed listening to it, the different versions of the song, it created a new memory for me. It was pure poetry, something to smile about, until today. Bad time of the day to be hearing this particular song, and I sat here, in agony listening to it. Afraid to move to switch the station or turn the volume down or put in a CD. I knew if I could handle the 3 +minutes the song would be over, and it was and I was relieved. And tomorrow is again, tomorrow and the station could play it again, but I’ll have completed step one of my 10 step program of "how to deal". Pathetic huh – getting over a song. If it sticks in your brain, you’re scarred for life, eventually you have to regurgitate it up right?

Starting Fires

Last month I met Shrek, I hate to say it but I did, and it’s not meant to be mean, I’m just being honest. Shrek and I got along but he was Shrek and I was the Little Mermaid and obviously Ogres don’t mix with humans. No sparks were intended. It’s amazing how you can carry on a conversation with little or no fear and have no spark. I think if I were to speak to him on the phone and not meet him, we’d still hit off but then again, with me its all about the spark. The spark that fuels the fire that sets my soul ablaze – blah blah blah. You can talk to someone, have a great conversation but if you expect it to go ANYWHERE, there has to be something there that pulls you in. It’s all about the spark baby, and if its not there in the beginning, it never is. We all get that feeling, that attraction, the butterflies, nervousness, the challenge, the unattainable, the gettable (if you don’t hit a STOP sign) and it doesn’t always happen when we’ve had a few. You put yourself out there, give it a shot and see if the fire starter actually catches. Any idea what I’m talking about because I don’t go looking to start fires, they just happen.

I probably will never see Shrek again because he’s in a land far far away hanging out with his Princess whateverhernameis in their castle having a conversation with Donkey.