What's Your Sign?

There’s a funny thing about horoscopes…if I read them at the beginning of the week, I will analyze everything for that week, not that its not normal for me to do that, but I’ll analyze everything around me, who I meet, what I say and do, who I talk to, everything is in high definition. However, if I read my horoscope towards the end of the day just like I did today I find more satisfaction in it if any part of it made any sense. Hmmm…did that happen? Yes it did. Well sorta. Funny how I used to do compatibility tests to tell who I’d get along with, who would be my best love match, why certain signs would not get along with mine. I would get enveloped in it every now and then because its humorous, just something else for me to research.

I can’t say I believe in all that stuff all of the time especially how someone you have never met can predict your day, week, the entire year based on your zodiac sign, but some of it holds truth. I’m not telling you my sign, but something was in the stars this week that might encourage me to swipe a newspaper at the end of the day on the way home from work…..just to see.

Fashion Disaster Friday

On any other typical Friday I do the usual. I get up to go to work for a few hours, only to turn around again to come back home to do errands, chores, hit the post office, bank, go shopping, whatever. I don’t spend too much time people watching unless I’m standing in a line or sitting in a waiting area at the nail salon. Today was different. Today I went to STS after work for an oil change which turned into a 30K service. I sat in the waiting area reading a very funny, vulgar hardcover book, whose title I will not write here and expose the humor that came out of it. STS is a male dominated business. They take pride on making fresh coffee for their customers and informing them of what else might need to be done on their vehicle while its in there for service. I was amazed at the amount of fashion disasters that approached the counter. Had I only a portable piece of electronic equipment I would have typed out everything this one woman had said while she leaned over the counter in her acid washed jacket and sneaks with no socks. I think she was trying to explain how the motor sounded but it was all jibberish to me. I’m not saying that I’m perfect because when I went to the counter I said 30 miles instead of 30 thousand miles because I got distracted by the guy at the counters eyes, only because he was eye level with me. Besides the one woman who walked in with a floral printed handbag wearing the hideous green and blue striped pants, the girl who was wearing the pink bunny pants takes the cake while her boyfriend helped himself to a fresh cup of joe. They didn’t even stay to wait, how dare he partake in a freebee? And the guy behind the counter came out two more times to try to make eye contact with me again while getting coffee for himself, unfortunately I was too engulfed in reading about a woman who was dating a guy similar to carrot top and trying to nickname the woman in the green and blue striped pants from someone out of the cast of the movie Willie Wonka.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go to a bar…

Well not quite a blonde, but we did look like Charlie’s Angels Friday night, decked out to have a night of fun in standard black attire. Our first stop gave us great drinks, excellent dance floor space for shaking our bootys and not being bothered by anybody but two short guys who smelt good that were just…there. We didn’t last long because the eye candy was lacking, not that I cared, I just wanted to dance. We still had fun and tapped out to ‘that girl is Poison’ and off we went back to Mtown. We stopped at the local watering hole due to available parking, even if it was just to visit the ladies room. I didn’t see any of the regulars there, not that I was really looking because my eye sight was a bit off from the lighting in there. But it was a great pitstop – NO LINE!

I’m not sure what came over us because we ended up at the Hopper which to me is like babysitting 3 year olds on a crowded bus. The dancefloor was like a moshpit of complete strangers bumping and grinding and trying not to spill their beers. The eye candy was there like flies on flypaper. Funny thing was the guy who stopped to ask us to watch his friend while he went for beers. He walked off and when the guy returned the Angels told him his friend wanted him in a romantic way. She was a little bit more blunt than that but I think you get the picture. According to one of the Angels another episode at another watering hole was a bit more disturbing in the ‘professing love’ kinda way. At this point I have no idea what name I gave out but our signature career paths made an appearance, and I had a problem keeping track of what name I kept giving out to different guys I had no interest in. At least our place of residence stayed the same and the Angels went along with every story that we fabricated on the fly. Busta Rhymes with Argyle kept hounding us but he meant no harm, especially after buying a round of drinks.

As for the Ex-Devil’s player, he’s lucky I didn’t sock him one because I’m not big on strangers just hugging me for no apparent reason.


“Though running thru the green while the sprinklers was on is funny too. I never did THAT before!”


Tidbit of the night:
You know they are really young when….they call you a half hour later after you leave the bar and invite you to meet them at the diner for breakfast. Then they call you back and want to know when they can see you again, then they send you a text message thinking that just because you danced with them, there’s some sort of connection between the two of you. I don’t remember what I said to him when he called on my way to drop off the Angels but it gave my car a ton of laughter because it was so off cuff.

Wardrobe Change

I've put a new facelift on things, I hope you like the new look. Its a little more me..pink was never my color anyway.

It's All About the Sangria

In taking the lead from someone who does this on a daily basis, I’m going to tell you about my Saturday the 13th. I woke up, had waffles and watched an episode of Burn Notice that I missed back in August, I’m still behind but am in no rush to watch the next one..its not going anywhere on my DVR. My coffee cup got topped off three times but only once was sugar added, and it got me thru a shower and a makeup session before I headed out the door to begin my trek for the day.

I headed to Edison to visit my girlfriend who I haven’t seen in a few years, yes I know, but we all know how schedules & life get. After much needed girl talk at Houlihan’s we headed to Menlo Mall for window shopping, people watching and maybe some shopping. The question of the afternoon was “why would they only have 2 cashiers during a sale?” I guess the girl in the turquoise tights and grey dress with black pumps brought in the massive amount of shoppers because the clothes and I were not getting along. After the mall, we said our goodbyes and her dog decided to say goodbye in his own special way, by slobbering on my arm. I wasn’t anticipating wrestling with a 50 lb dog, especially since I was covering my head like a bear was attacking me.

Off I go back up north to meet the girls and head on into NYC. After our karaoke car sessions with Hang on Sloopy and You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling we found parking, stopped at a corner bar called Paddy’s or Pudgy’s or something and continued on our fun evening. Even after the short bald man who looked like an oompah loompah price gauged the sangria and I sent my first bought of texts saying I saw Stallone we negotiated our way thru the crowd for more sangria. If we hadn’t stopped at the first place we would have met Diego earlier, who was a phony paisan because he didn’t speaka Italian at all, but tried to fake-a the accent. The only real paisan there besides myself was the NYC cop Marcello who oh so nicely waved to us and said hello. After Daphne got her bear with the fangs and Donna negotiated herself a huge Mets bear off one of the venders while the rest of us took our free shots because we knew the buckets were rigged, we found ourselves reverting back to House of Pain and jumping up and down in the crowd to the music. I’m glad the talk of getting tattoos of softballs got swept away by actual palm readings instead.

As far as I remember we all had a great night and thank goodness my head isn’t pounding this morning from the sounds of motorcycles from the last bar we stopped at back in Jersey mixed with the pitchers of sangria we polished off back in Little Italy. It’s also nice to know there is only 1 picture floating out there as proof that any of this ever happened and the main reason for why I’m writing this is still yet to be had. I know it had to do with some people watching and me yelling at people for ‘window shopping’ instead of walking faster in a massive crowd of people.

And that’s it..I got in, kicked off my shoes and hit the pillow after chugging water and aspirin and crossing one more item off my ‘bucket list’.

Look at all these rumors…..

There’s nothing worse than hearing a rumor about yourself that just isn’t true and having it completely ruin your Sunday, especially when I’m surrounded by these people all afternoon and I have no idea who said what. I’m so glad a friend asked me about it, you know how it goes…”I heard you….” and I immediately said, ‘No, that is not true at all’ and cleared the air about that and told them exactly what happened. They wouldn’t own up to who said it, but at least they asked me directly. Unfortunate for the one who started it though because its obvious they have nothing better going on in their life than to start rumors about the newbie. Too bad you don’t have a life, unless your goal was to make the blog, in that case, you’d have to come clean and tell me it was you. I thought we all grew up and stopped playing the rumor mill, guess some people are still stuck in grade school. Just don’t f* with the redhead…just like that nice Chicago Bears fan said.

Truly a Hopeless Romantic at Heart

Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.
Elynor Glyn

Romantic movies that come to mind, in no particular order…influenced by nothing else than a rainy Saturday evening..
Bed of Roses – my favorite flower
My Best Friend’s Wedding – "I’ve got moves you’ve never seen”
An Affair to Remember – "meet me at the top of the Empire State building…"
You’ve Got Mail – “I like to start every sentence as if I’m in the middle of a conversation with you”
The Princess Bride – ‘as you wish’
Serendipity – its all a matter of Destiny
When Harry Met Sally – a man and a woman cannot be just friends….?
The Lake House – something poetic about traditional love letters
Shakespeare in Love – “…where is my Romeo?”

My #1 Fan

“Who is this?…Malorie?” that’s what I get for not picking up the phone for more than a year and reconnecting with my #1 blog fan, but then again, drinking through a tropical storm can fog up someone’s hearing. I would expect nothing less than polishing off a bottle and actually recognizing the person on the other end, and quite surprised I wasn't interrupting anything. I am very happy that he is spending his time wisely with his sugar darlin’ on a Saturday afternoon, very happy to know that she likes him for who he is even when he’s being “ticklish” over a bottle of Captain Morgan.

Turn the Radio Up for that Sweet Sound

Since this doesn’t require anything but the obvious….here’s my top songs for today:

Bryan Adams: If You Wanna Be Bad, You Gotta Be Good
Justin Nozuka: After Tonight
Bruce Springsteen: Jersey Girl
Whitney Houston: If You Say My Eyes Are Beautiful (don’t ask, its an 80’s favorite that used to be hard to find on cassette back in the day)
Pink: So What
The Drifters: Save the Last Dance for Me
Matt Nathanson: Come On Get Higher
Bobby Darin: Beyond the Sea
U2: Where the Streets Have No Name

*Thanks to Eric Carmen for providing the lyric to title this today...and the song is called Make Me Lose Control.

Retracting

I learned today to stop reading into things and just take it for face value, but it is human nature for me to do so not only as a female, and as a Gemini, but because I know exactly what I want and I won’t settle for anything less. I'm going to take a break from this for a while, it may do me some good. Much apologies for this overthoughtful idiot who better not have damn well f-ed it up.